We were very young when we got together, it was my first relationship, and I think we both brought out the worst in each other at times. Things ended badly and we didn’t speak for a long time.
Even after that, I never really spoke badly about you. In fact, I always felt like there was something special between us, and I spoke about you quite highly to the people who mattered to me.
Over time, distance changes things. And during all of that, you knew how much my mother meant to me, especially being my foster mam. You knew what I was going through when she was sick, and how often I was flying back and forth to Ireland to be with her. That period of my life was heavy, and I didn’t really have much space to process it all properly I was also completely alone, with absolutely no support. You knew this but ignored my situation to benefit your relationship, which ultimately failed.
After things ended with your ex, you told me you felt guilty about how you had ignored me for years during that time, especially while I was dealing with everything with my mam. I tried to take that in good faith, because I’ve always tried to show up for you when you needed me, even when things were difficult on my side.
So I suppose I held onto the idea that we were rebuilding something real over the last couple of years, that what we had become was an honest friendship again.
But recently I found out that things weren’t really what I was being led to believe. After 785 days of what I thought was us repairing things, I’ve realised I wasn’t being told the truth about your situation and your relationship.
You also told me from the beginning that you didn’t care for a sexual relationship. Despite that, I later found out you were involved in sexual relationships with other people during this time. I accept that people live their lives, but honesty has always been important to me, and I can’t ignore how that contrasts with what I was told.
And that’s what hurts the most not just what happened in the past, but feeling like the trust we were rebuilding wasn’t built on honesty. I also can’t ignore the pattern of dishonesty that I’ve come to recognise over time.
I wish you and Kyle well, genuinely. Hopefully it lasts longer than previous relationships.
But for my own peace of mind, I need to step away from this completely now. I have to prioritise my own wellbeing, especially given everything I’ve been through in my life, including my upbringing in foster care, losing my parents, and navigating periods of homelessness in early adulthood. You were aware of those parts of my history, and I needed honesty and stability, not confusion and mixed messages.
Because of all of this, I need to close this chapter fully and ask that there is no further contact. (after you ask that I take this down of course xx)
More than happy to take this down once you've read and aknowledged this. Email me here and I'll delete this website. Get somebody else to pour hours into a website to benefit you x